Natural Timing

Sometimes as parents or mothers we start to want to compare and we worry excessively about where our children are in regards to learning and intelligence or sports and activities.

Maybe we feel it is a reflection on our parenting skills. Maybe we want to see our children be good at something and it is a desire for them to distinguish themselves. Maybe we think people respect us more when we are involved in so many things or have our hand in a million pots.

It's easy to get caught up in this at times. I become worried in my children's abilities , wanting to compare them to others rather than just their abilities. This is where I usually make mistakes and errors in parenting my children or in the calmness I feel in my self and self worth.

McCall was a good reader. She was one of the oldest in her class and she also was a really diligent and hard worker and she wanted to please. In preschool she started reading and I remember her starting Kindergarten reading well.

Fast forward 5 years and I found myself with Elizabeth in Preschool. To me she just didn't seem ready so we laid off pushing reading, even though it was so hard to step back and allow her time to prepare as I watched other children progress.

Summer before kindergarten we started reading and she seemed to pick it up quickly, but upon starting kindergarten that gnawing feeling and emotion started to creep in. Was she going to do okay? Was she going to be on the same level as other children? I started to allow comparisons to enter my thoughts and I had to push them back and away.

Every meeting with her teacher seemed to go well. She was on target and doing well. But because it was so different than my other child  and I compared and secretly worried about the timing, McCall had a good year of reading before kindergarten.

Fast forward to yesterday in the 1st Grade classroom when a mother Kandace, whom I love and admire, pulled me aside to comment about Elizabeth. We have really seen Elizabeth take off this year in reading and she seems to have a real talent when it comes to words and sounding out bigger words.

Kandace told me what an amazing reader Elizabeth is and how her son was always commenting at home about how she was the fastest reader in the class. (Not sure if that is exactly true or not, kids are funny.)

As I thought about it briefly afterward, I thought about how sometimes as parents we try to force learning on children and don't take into account all the signs that they are ready. Had I not clued into Elizabeth's readiness I may have forced reading at an earlier stage and possibly frustrated her with it. Had I allowed that comparison syndrome to enter into my heart, I may have pushed too hard and made it a negative experience. By forcing anything before it's time we may be setting children up for failure. It is hard not to compare but when our intentions stem from comparison I think we set ourselves (and children) up for failure.

Later, when I told Elizabeth about this positive comment from a classmate she said "I know at centers when we are at the round table reading everyone always hands me their books and asks me how to say words and I have to (placing her hands up in the air palms forward in a holding or stopping motion) tell them 'One at a time guys, one at a time!'" I got a good laugh at her expression and comment.

Moving away from reading, what about other things? I have to accept that one of my daughters may not enjoy dancing. Maybe one will not like violin or have the ability to pick it up. Should I become Tiger Mom and demand that they learn something or pick up a hobby or skill? I am all for setting high expectations for children but that is different then forcing them into a mold of what we think is the 'ideal' or acceptable.

Do we ever pick out gifts, pick out homes, clothes, activities, because of what others have, use, or like, rather than what we like? Does the happiness associated with obtaining something; skills, intelligence, or tangibles - whatever it is, just because someone else is doing it or likes it, compare with the happiness of being our own person and doing what we like, and what fulfills our hearts?

I have always admired people who could live and honor their own conscience. Who answer to no one but themselves. I have little respect for those who do or have things simply to compete or compare in 'haves' with others. I've always felt it a personal weakness in not being strong enough to be your own person, make your choices without worrying what others will think. But that is sort of a natural tendency.

When we force the natural timing of things or dishonor our intent, we may be messing up the success of those skills, gifts and blessings the Lord has in store for us. I have seen this in my life so many times, but as I learn to let go, to seek the Lord, HIS counsel and try to learn from HIS timeline instead of forcing things from my view and my wants and will, I see how much greater I am able to learn, develop and when the timing is right I see how much more I enjoy those blessings awaiting me and how much better I enjoy the fruits.

Thanksgiving

Some of the things I am thankful for this year...

A Husband...who has enough love to see the worth in me and potential for better things; who has the honesty to correct me when I'm wrong; who teaches me charity, about giving and forgetting; who teaches me the dignity associated with wanting to live so as not to embarrass my spouse with my sins and shortcomings.

Daughters...who love me with kisses and hugs; who want to be with me to talk, work and play together; who forgive me when I apologise for mistakes; who help me understand eternity; who help me see the importance of the here and now; who make me laugh every day.

Parents...who loved me and made/make many sacrifices for me, even difficult lessons such as 'NO'; who taught me to love siblings and avoid rivalry; who taught me that when you fall down you get back up and keep trying; who let us skip bedtime and lay out under the stars, to speak of God, eternity and worlds without end.

Siblings...who taught me at a young age to understand the love of our Savior; who pumped me on the back of a bike and cried tears for me when we crashed as he carried me all the way back home; who laughed over large aluminum bowls of popcorn and card games of cowboy; who taught me how to find joy in the happiness and success of others and to be more concerned with their welfare then my own.

In-laws...who taught me that we don't have to share blood to love and be loved without end.

Gospel...for understanding about who I am and where I am going.

Temples... that teach me what God expects.

King Lamoni's father...who taught me that "I will give away all my sins to know thee" even sins as hard to 'give away' as selfishness and pride.

Worldly goods...to teach me that if I cling to them too tightly I will kneel with shame before the Savior.

Home... teaches me that is doesn't matter it's size, color or shape, it's what I do and how I live that shapes it.

Temple Garments... that remind me I am beautiful.

Stars... that comfort me as I lay awake on discouraging nights and affirm to me that God is there.

Friends... teach me about giving; of sharing tears and heartbreak; and of laughter and joy.

Callings... teach me to hold judgement and distribute kind understanding; and to go to my father first.

What classifies a salad?

For all you heading out for the Thanksgiving holiday I hope you are safe.

I just have one question. Which I have been guilty of.

Where did we go wrong when we started labeling this as a 'SALAD'?

JELLO PRETZEL SALAD

Isn't it just a quick way to make a cheesecake-esc dessert?

Happy eating tomorrow!

Regret

Occasionally I look at my home and worry that I am becoming a hoarder. Things get a little out of control and "stuff" starts piling up.


I was called a hoarder once.


Right to my face.


And no, it was not from my hubby Erik.


It was his cousin from California.


She was looking around the house on a visit and opened up my cold storage room door.

She then told me I was a hoarder.


Right to my face.

I then had to explain about the LDS church and our belief in saving or "storing for a rainy day" and the whole years supply thing.

I posted here about a years supply some time ago. I don't just store food. I store a years supply of TP, Paper towels, toilet bowl cleaner, laundry soap, yada yada yada. So it kind of takes up a lot of room.

I digress...back to my earlier point. 

Every so often I get spurs in my boots and get my mind set on purging and throwing out stuff.

My friend turned me onto a book and system for deciphering what you need and don't, which was really great and I should talk about it here but that is not what I am typing about today.

I am typing about regret.

The same friend told about her mom getting rid of a drawer full of useless specialty utensils and gadgets in the kitchen. She kept a spatula, wooden spoon, whisk and a few other items but just dumped the rest.

I will now make an apology to Pampered Chef lovers and all those v shape knives and that metal pick thingie to hold the onion as you chop. Oh yeah, you know the ones I'm talking about. Those gadgets that constantly get caught in the back of your drawer making it catch as you try to close it cause it's just to darn full.

Well... her Mom didn't regret tossing that stuff, except for one thing, but it wasn't super necessary so she somehow survived and life moved on.

So when I get that spur and decide to throw out and clean out stuff...


What!


You want to know what it was?


Okay curious readers...


It was a melon ball-er.


I guess she just has to eat her melons square now like I do.


Anyhooo... I want to now address my regret.

No, it is nothing as useful as a melon ball-er. No, it actually cannot be found in the kitchen. Oh wait. In my house it can. But usually they are found in a closet.

In my house I store them right at the foot of the cupboard where we have our "DROP ZONE". You know, that spot that collects the keys, mail, homework, cell phones and whatever other stuff you use each day?

So you guessed it, every time Erik comes home and trips over a pair of my shoes, boots, flip-flops, whatever tucked right there at the base of the cabinet, he yells "can't you put these in the closet?" remembers how much he loves me.

So my regret is that I followed the rule...

Okay you caught me, I didn't EXACTLY follow the rule. I think the rule is that if you haven't worn an item for a year maybe two you should throw it out.

For me it had been like 4 years since I wore this pair of Frye boots. I bought them out of high school like in 1995 and wore them often with my Harley jacket. It was kind of a stage I went through in my adolescent years.

Amid my sorting I decided I should just toss them as the soles were pretty worn from some good years of use. Part of me wanted to have them re-soled but I just never took them in so I stuck the box with the boots inside, put them in the DI (Goodwill) bag and dropped them off with my load to DI.

After a few months I really started regretting that I gave away those boots. I keep thinking of that lucky dog soul that scored on my $218 boots, although at the time I think I paid $145 at JMR.

Ever since I started missing these boots it has been much harder to turn lose those items in my closet that have been hanging out way too long. I now doubt myself and the clarity with which I'm making decisions.

Dangerous I know, I could be on my way to becoming a real-deal hoarder.

C-A-L-I-F-O-R-N-I-A (Part III)

TUESDAY 8th

 First day since arriving to go to Disneyland! The girls were super duper excited while waiting to purchase tickets.

Finally inside and ready to ride!

 Look at cute Stella trying to stand just right!

 I don't think we could have gone so long or done it without the help from Grandma and Grandpa.

 I love this picture!

Pretty typical of 2yr old Stella. I love the pose from Elizabeth, she is such a doll - as are all the girls. I hated watching how grown up McCall is. Our last trip here she was still a "little girl". I miss those little hands but the helping hands she offers now are definitely just as loved and appreciated.

It was so awesome to see everything decorated and lit up for the holiday's. I'm so glad we were there to experience it like this! 

------------------------------

At this point I am not even an hour into our visit to Disneyland and wondering if I will ever get to upload the photo's I want to represent our trip, so I just threw them together in a slideshow which you can view below.

It is put to music so you'll want to mute the music player on the top right to avoid a headache!


 It will not have my commentary to journal our days so I'll just add...

Elizabeth had no fear and went back for a second go on the Tower of Terror, the Rocky Mtn. Railroad Rollercoaster, Splash Mountain, the Matterhorn and Space Mountain. She loved the rest of the rides and was so pleasant the whole time it was just fun!

McCall was also super adventurous and went back for thirds and fourths on Tower of Terror, Rocky Mtn. Railroad, Splash and Space Mountains, California Screaming (I think she totaled 5 times on that one). I don't think that girl has any fear.

Claire was a good sport and went on the all the rides she was tall enough for, like tower of terror but we couldn't get her back on it even though she kept SAYING it was fun. She did go back for seconds on Matterhorn, Splash Mountain, Rocky Mtn. Railroad and such. She must have rode the carrosels with Stella like 10 times.

Stella was just fun and was a pretty darn good sport if I can say. She put up with four 8-12 hour days at the park. She got cranky around nap time and didn't like waking up to people everywhere but she really was awesome!

Oh...and I feel bad that we really didn't chase down the princess for the girls to meet them and get a picture with (even though it's lame I know) but we had intended on doing the breakfast with the Princess but just ran out of time to do it.

Slide show of Tuesday - Friday

In case you run into problems with the embedded video go HERE.

You can see it bigger by linking to the actual youtube site but enlarging it to full screen makes the pics super grainy.

C-A-L-I-F-O-R-N-I-A (Part II)

Sunday 6th
I had to add to Sunday that it doesn't matter that we drive hundreds of miles, stay in a fabulous place with so much to see and do, the girls are still content to just sit around playing ipad's!

I think McCall was the only one interested in looking out on the new world before her and experiencing it! Typical McCall, she loves adventure!


Monday 7th

Today we headed out to Sea World down in San Diego. McCall was super excited to feed the dolphins and Elizabeth said she was not going to do it. I then bribed them all to be brave by telling them if they wanted to get something their they would need to touch the dolphin.

 McCall, Claire, Elizabeth with Mr. Penguin

Stella wouldn't go near him.

Dolphin Habitat

They really wanted to feed the dolphins but they don't let you just buy a tray of fish like they used too. Now it's only at a specific time and it was during a show we wanted to see.

Cute little Lizzie

 Stella was so excited to see them! 

 McCall and Claire trying to get a feel of the dolphins. Last time we had plenty of "feeling time" but they were always just inches beyond reach. 

 The three girls trying to get the dolphin's to swim to them by patting the water.

 Claire made friends with this one. It kept swimming back to get a view of Claire from the window. They are so smart and so darn cool!

RIDES

I think we did this ride only once...

I lost count of this one...

The Dolphin Show

 It is so amazing how high they can jump!

 These whales are so cool looking.

And gave a pretty good splash. 

 Maybe I should add surfing on a whale to my bucket list!

Man I love that guy! He's such a good dad.

SEALS
I'd like to introduce you to someone...

This is a seal.

He was only the LOUDEST, most annoying creature I've ever met.

He would scream and wail sitting a top that rock until someone threw him a fish.

Part of me didn't want to give him any of our fish. I do not like squeaky wheels. I have a certain level of disrespect and disdain for people (or animals) who are always pushing themselves forward, who are loud about what they want or need.

This was just such an animal.

Here is proof!

I could just gobble that cute little thing up! 

But you know, I guess you know what they say about squeaky wheels, they get oiled. And that obnoxious seal certainly had more fish than any of them! And the girls always threw fish to him, despite my desire that some of the more reserved seals got some, because he was more entertaining, he knew well how to attract attention.

Shark Attack!

Look at those teeth!

Killer Whales

 McCall's favorite, they played some rockin' music and the trainner and the orca both were strutting to the music. It was so cool.

Below you can see the girls in the upper section of the stands. I am a mean mom and didn't want me to get wet or any of my little ones to get wet. No fun I know - but we still had an evening meeting my brother & his family in old town for dinner and I didn't want the girls all cold and wet.

I guess Cotton Candy made the sitting in the upper section a little less traumatic.

I don't know why this one makes me smile so much!

ARCTIC ANIMALS

I love belugas. For some reason they are my favorite.

 They are just so beautiful I think.

 This beluga started showing off by circling around the enclosure as fast as he/she could. I couldn't believe how fast it could speed past the window.

 I just hope my fat doesn't ripple like this ones when I swim by!

It was a great day and ended in San Diego's 'old town' touring shops and enjoying some yummy Mexican food with some great company. It's always fun to visit my brother Darin when in San Diego with his amazing wife and lovely daughter. Wish I would have thought to get my camera out! Darin will have to send my copies of his pictures!

Now I only have to catch up posting Tue/Wed/Thur/Friday at Disneyland.