Favorite Time of Year

I love the approaching weekend. Conference weekend is my favorite time of year.  I love having my family sit around me as we listen (or in the case of my little ones - TRY to listen) to the council that is the most important we can receive. I never plan anything on this weekend because it is sacred. And I want my children to know it is sacred.

I love to sit at the feet of a living prophet and his apostles and hear council for us, for our day, and for our struggles.

When I see the conference center filled with people I am reminded of council received about 2000 years ago when the savior addressed his followers...as they sat at his feet...

1 ^aAnd seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:

 2 And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,

 3 ^aBlessed are the ^bpoor in spirit: for theirs is the ^ckingdom of heaven.

 4 Blessed are they that ^amourn: for they shall be ^bcomforted.

 5 Blessed are the ^ameek: for they shall inherit the ^bearth.

 6 Blessed are they which do ^ahunger and thirst after ^brighteousness: for they shall be filled.

 7 Blessed are the ^amerciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

 8 Blessed are the ^apure in ^bheart: for they shall ^csee God.

 9 Blessed are the ^apeacemakers: for they shall be called the ^bchildren of God.

 10 Blessed are they which are ^apersecuted for ^brighteousness’ sake: for ^ctheirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 11 Blessed are ye, when men shall ^arevile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of ^bevil against you falsely, ^cfor my sake.

 12 ^aRejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your ^breward in heaven: for so ^cpersecuted they the prophets which were before you.

 13 ¶Ye are the ^asalt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

 14 Ye are the ^alight of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

 15 Neither do men light a ^acandle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

 16 Let your ^alight so shine before men, that they may see your good ^bworks, and ^cglorify your Father which is in heaven.

 17 ¶Think not that I am come to ^adestroy the ^blaw, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

 18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the ^alaw, till all be ^bfulfilled.

 19 Whosoever therefore shall ^abreak one of these least commandments, ^band shall ^cteach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and ^dteach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

 20 For I say unto you, That except your ^arighteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the ^bscribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

 21 ¶Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou ^ashalt not ^bkill; and whosoever shall kill shall be ^cin danger of the judgment:

 22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is ^aangry with his brother ^bwithout a cause shall be ^cin danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, ^dRaca, shall be ^ein danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

 23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be ^areconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

 25 ^aAgree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.

 26 Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid ^athe uttermost farthing.

 27 ¶Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit ^aadultery:

 28 But I say unto you, That whosoever ^alooketh on a ^bwoman to ^clust after her hath committed ^dadultery with her already in his heart.

 29 And if thy right eye ^aoffend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into ^bhell.

 30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.^a

 31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of ^adivorcement:

 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall ^aput away his ^bwife, saving for the cause of ^cfornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

 33 ¶Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not ^aforswear thyself, but shalt ^bperform unto the Lord thine ^coaths:

 34 But I say unto you, ^aSwear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God’s ^bthrone:

 35 Nor by the earth; for it is his ^afootstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the ^bcity of the great King.

 36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.

 37 But let your ^acommunication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh ^bof evil.

 38 ¶Ye have heard that it hath been said, An ^aeye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:

 39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not ^aevil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right ^bcheek, ^cturn to him the other also.

 40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.

 41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.

 42 ^aGive to him that asketh thee, and from him that would ^bborrow of thee turn not thou away.

 43 ¶Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt ^alove thy ^bneighbour, and hate thine enemy.

 44 But I say unto you, ^aLove your ^benemies, ^cbless them that ^dcurse you, do ^egood to them that ^fhate you, and ^gpray for them which despitefully use you, and ^hpersecute you;

 45 That ye ^amay be the ^bchildren of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth ^crain on the just and on the unjust.

 46 For if ye ^alove them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

 47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?

 48 ^aBe ye therefore ^bperfect, even as your ^cFather which is in heaven is ^dperfect.

Mens Heart Shall Fail Them

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this!

I discussed this particular experience with some good friends I was with a few weeks ago.

When I say this experience I do not mean me personally. I was not the woman on the plane he referred to, whatever you may think of me. Just sayin.

Leading with Love

LEADING WITH LOVE:

"Nothing is so much calculated to lead people to forsake sin as to take them by the hand and watch over them with tenderness..."*

As I thought about all the mistakes I make on a daily basis, as a wife, mother, friend and especially in my calling I thought of the difference kindness makes. Sometimes I feel sick over how apparent my sins and shortcomings are (and I'm supposed to serve the sisters when I am so full of error?). When I read the above I thought about the difference when people treat one another with love and those who seem to want to criticise and find error with every move someone makes. I see the difference in those who look for good and find it and those who are waiting at an instant to take something said or done the very worst way.


I think one thing that has been the hardest about my calling right now is that some people think that leadership puts you in a position to judge. We hear that some will be a judge in Israel and that's true but at times I feel like sisters want to apologize to me for shortcomings, I sometimes want to say, do you think you have to explain to ME? Me who is so full of sin and error? Do you think I can judge you? I'm having to stockpile forgiveness from the Lord, I can't afford to make apparent my beam by pointing out others mote!


I don't think that I was a judgemental person before, but I can really see how this calling has helped me to see the gold which is in everyone, to not take offense, because you just don't know the history, how someone was feeling and what was going on when something was done or said. It has helped me see that we are all just trying to sort our way through.


I am so grateful for the people in my life who have lead with love and set the example; for a husband who wants me to be the daughter that Heavenly Father intended me to be, for a Bishop and my presidency who put up with me and all my errors and accept my offering even when I know I should be doing so much more to help, for friends who see my faults yet love me anyway, and for my daughters who love me and who forgive me when I have made mistakes.

*From: Daughters in My Kingdom

Palmyra - NY

My Great-Grandparents worked and lived on the Joseph Smith farm while my Grandfather was a boy. This was where my Great-Grandfather and Grandfather labored and toiled. How amazing to plow the same earth, to tromp around the grounds and be in this sacred place where such important things happened for mankind. 

The Palmyra Temple

The (Replica) Cabin where the angel Moroni visited Joseph Smith Jr.

What cute cousins!

Stell Bells

Claire - Smiling despite the heat and humidity.

Elizabeth with a hint of attitude in that pose - what a goof!

The rebuilt home build for Joseph Smith Senior and Lucy Mack Smith.

The Sacred Grove:

You don't have to travel here to gain a testimony of what took place, but there is no denying the spirit and the sacredness one feels here. There is an opportunity, as you walk the quiet path, to ponder what took place. God the Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ did appear here. God loves us. He continues the pattern set for over 4000 years in the Old and New Testaments of revealing His word and His plan to his children. THAT is what the Book of Mormon testifies of. Of the continuation of the Father's love and His hope that we will follow the Plan so that we might be with Him again...forever and always.

 Hill Cumorah

Poor McCall: She has the worst mother ever who packed denim Capri's, and a lightweight cotton sweater over a tank for this day. She was by this time hot and irritated with her mother for such poor planning.

We love all the cute cousins and the sweet girls to look up to.

Looking out from atop the Hill Cumorah is such an amazing and wonderful experience. It really is a beautiful area but those early settlers must have had such a hard time hacking it out and clearing the land! How cool that somewhere in this hill the angel Moroni turned over records of gold to aid in the restoration of the Church of Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the worthiness of the youth Joseph Smith, Jr who was able to do this great work. I love the Book of Mormon and it has borne me up and strengthened me and guided me so often. I cannot deny it's truth and worth.

Greater Focus

I love conference!

Okay, who doesn't and every year I could profess that the "talks were just for me" or "the talks were so good this conference" or "the Spirit was so amazing" or "I'm going to do so much better".

I'm going to do better is what I always feel when sitting and listening. I see the Gospel so clearly, I see the simple beauty in it and see what matters most. I see my faults and see what I need to do better. I'm going to be a better mother, more patient, I will be a better wife, I'll be a better visit teacher - I'll really serve my sisters and their families. I'll be a better RS President. I'll spend an hour each day serving the sisters in some way. I'll be more Christlike all the time. People will see my faith in Jesus Christ, they will feel my love for him by seeing the way I live and the way I treat and talk about others. My scope becomes broad - worldwide - rather than the narrow scope I see with most of the time. What are my struggles? Look around you Ashley. I'm going to do something great - something worldwide. I feel that I can do anything, that I can overcome anything.

No wonder conference is so powerful when we sit and experience personal revelation for our lives.

Then Monday comes and real life starts again and within the first day I seem to have completely forgot what I felt so strongly only 24 hours before! Why is that!

Moses went into the mount and came back to a people who had completely lost vision and focus. I guess that is why conference comes every 6 months. Longer than that and I'd be back to my super narrow focus of me and my, me and my. Twice a year to refocus, realign and recommit.

I am so grateful for this amazing Gospel. For the way the Lord molds and sculpts me into the woman I need to become. For the Spirit as it reveals to me where I need to go and what I need to do. How it gives me a greater focus on who I am and what God expects of me.

Daughters in My Kingdom

I am loving reading Daughters in My Kingdom. I am slowly chewing over one chapter a day. My instinct is to eat up the book as fast as I can but I am holding back taking one chapter at a time so I can really think and study it.
Yesterday I read this and it really got me thinking...

Joseph Smith Jr. "warned against a disposition to consider the lower offices in the Church dishonorable and to look with jealous eyes upon the standing of others" This he said, "was the nonsense of the human heart, for a person to be aspiring to other stations than appointed of God."

When I read this I thought about two extremes I've observed. Some who seem to hold their personal value and worth in the status of a church calling. Constantly speaking about their position, letting all know of their good works, and assuming their calling makes them more worthy, or means they are more loved or respected by the Lord - inadvertantly telling anyone in a "lower" office they are inferior. On the other side of the spectrum there are those who think they are inferior because they have not held a "high" calling. Who feel useless as a teacher and fail to see the contribution or the worth because it is not seen by "all".

When I though of this I thought of the Savior and His service. What was He doing? What would He be doing?  I think He would be in the nursery, on the floor loving and cuddling those sweet babes. He would be in primary teaching a child on his lap, kissing the cheek and showing them love. He would be in the home as a teacher, lifting a burden and caring for a family.

Of all the callings in the church, I think I respect the unseen ones the most. Don't get me wrong I completely sustain and love the leadership of the church, i have great respect for those who lead us...local and general. I just wonder if when we stand before the Lord to account, if the positions He will hold in highest esteem and will be the most pleased with, will be the ones that no sees, for the one's that are seen, well, they have their reward.

I hope I can do a better job of being the one behind the scene, helping, getting on the floor, doing what is needed. I so love this book and how it is helping me evaluate my life.

The Problem with Procrastination

Our household is faced with a dilemma.

Do we start over?

Do we leave off in 3rd Nephi?

Skip over 4th Nephi?

Mormon? Ether? Moroni?

We are enough behind that if we take the time to finish we will be behind for this year.

Usually we always finish early, was it last year that we went a week over?

We have put ourselves in a awful situation by missing our nightly reading one too many times.

We talked about Erik and I finishing it on our own but that will then put us behind in our personal study and you just can't do that with the Old Testament or you won't finish.

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How can we teach our 11/12 year old boys the Old Testament if we are not up to date with reading it?

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Yesterday we started over... I Nephi...

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This morning I went ahead with Genesis...

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I'm heartsick over those beloved books missed.

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And heart sick our girls won't read/hear them.

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Maybe I should take a day off and gobble them up.

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Can you take a day off with four small kids who are involved with an activity (dance,violin) on top of homework Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday? Oh, and Elizabeth has speech on Friday at 8am...

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But I don't drive to dance on Wed., so maybe I could spend the day reading.

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You see the spiral?

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You see what an awful situation we have placed ourselves in?

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This is the problem with procrastination!

Thou Shalt Not

I love FHE night. Usually I take a thought or impression from Sunday's worship and follow up on it on our Monday lesson. So last night for family home evening, based on a prompting from a high council talk, we had our lesson on the 10 Commandments. We discussed each commandment, what it meant and how to live it. We discussed that as we break any one of these we will feel the spirit leave distinctly. (Hopefully we carry the Spirit with us enough that the odd occurrence is it's presence leaving us, not feeling it come occasionally.) I digress... as we went through discussing each commandment... we came to this quote on COVET and I really liked it.

Elder Bruce R. McConkie said... "To covet is to have an eager, extreme and ungodly desire for something."

When we covet something we usually want it selfishly, vainly, or pridefully.

Lately I have been really disgusted with my body, four kids later and my thighs don't fit into my jeans and my belly seems to lop over the waste band of my jeans. I have been really anxious, might I say eager, to get into a workout routine but I seriously rarely have a husband around and my kids are at an age which makes it really difficult to leave them unattended to go down and workout. AND I certainly will not pawn them off to the care of someone else to go work out. I have been extremely critical of myself and may I say my husband about this. I haven't said it in words to him but it's been there -- underlying -- "why can't he make time so I can work out".

And then we had this lesson last night and this morning it was reiterated to me as I looked out at the crisp cold sky and noticed a neighbor pulling in her garbage can in her workout clothes and as clearly as the Lord was standing before me I heard in response to my coveting thought "Ashley, it is okay, your time will come, right now your focus is, and should be, your little ones, they will be grown so fast, take care of them now. Next year will be a little easier, you'll have a little more time to yourself as they grow. Your body can wait -- your children cannot."

How grateful I am for the tender mercies of the Lord. For the guidance and direction of the Spirit who can guide and speak to us in all things.

I was so grateful for this lesson, later in family prayer I could see the effect it had as Erik prayed for specific things for our family which related to the 10 commandments and the request to help us remember these thoughts and impressions this week. They are so basic, and seem so simple but this lesson has us really looking and evaluating how well we are fulfilling them.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain
4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy
5. Honour thy father and thy mother
6. Thou shalt not kill
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery
8. Thou shalt not steal
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness
10. Thou shalt not covet

Gifts and Presents

Christmas is coming. Which means paper, scotch tape, ribbon and tags. Lots of gifts and presents will be exchanged. Gifts and Presents...

Somewhere I picked up a definition of the differences between a gift and a present. It went like this...

GIFT

A gift is something which you know the person wants, something that they need and desire after. A gift is something thought out and specific to that individual. A gift is given without thought to yourself, but is personal to the one you are bestowing the gift upon. It may not at times be something you agree with, enjoy or even like but you are doing it for the person so you forget yourself and give. Sometimes it may take a big sacrifice, of time and/or money, but you give to bring happiness to the life of that person. That is a gift.

Look at the word gift.

gift: 1. something given

Then associate it back to the work give.

Give: 1. put into the possession or keeping of another 2. pay 3. contribute or donate 4. yield to 5. let out of one's control

You see the similarities of the two words and meaning. A gift is about about GIVING.

PRESENT

A present is something which you want to give. Something more for your enjoyment in giving it then necessarily for the recipients enjoyment. Presents are not necessarily a negative thing... sometimes presents are more exciting for the person giving because it is something they love, something they are excited about, and they want to share that excitement and love of it with someone else. Often that person may love it as much as the giver which makes the present more appreciated.

Look at the word present and it's other meanings...

present: 1. introduce 2. to bring before the public 3. make a gift to

you can see that it's focus is more public, more focus is on the person PRESENTING than on receiving.

In the gospel we often talk about the gift of the atonement, it was something we needed, something that was given for us with much sacrifice on behalf of the giver.

I was just thinking about this the other day and thinking that this year I am going to try harder to give GIFTS this year.

Stunning

We came away from conference weekend so amazed at all the incredable messages. So many we loved and felt were just what we needed to hear. But this one from Elder Hollandwas simply STUNNING!

Listen & Watch here...

Our own Walden

Conference always seems to come just when I need it most. Maybe after 6 months the previous enlightenment has started to fade away and I need to submerge myself in the enriching talks once more. It seems like, while every talk is excellent, that a few are specifically just for me, directed to me, by a loving Father in Heaven.

Maybe it's because it was the first talk that it sticks our so prominently in my head. Maybe it is my love of Henry David Thoreau. I loved Elder L. Tom Perry's address on Saturday morning. I love the thought of creating our own Walden. As he broke down Thoreau's 4 necessities here are some of my quick thoughts and notes on what I heard...

1. Food: Take care of our bodies, follow the Word of Wisdom, get enough sleep; by following this counsel our bodies will be able to fulfill what is required of us. By showing respect and honoring our bodies we show obedience to God. I thought about trying to take care of my body just so it's healthy better than I have. I don't want to go to extremes, I don't want to be blown about by every new wind of doctrine - just be aware and smart.

Note to self: Get better Sleep!

2. Shelter: Live within our income & don't run into debt. Simplify our lives, create less, use less, save, thrift, ALL THE PROBLEMS OF SOCIETY STEM FROM LIVING OVER ONES MEANS. Don't get caught up in having more, don't think that what the world says is appropriate and acceptable in homes is what the Lord will look on as an acceptable use of His(our) funds. I hear of people who are losing businesses, homes, cars and such and it makes me upset because the irresponsibility of so many is causing this problem in the economy which effects everyone. We have always been counseled since the times of Joseph in Egypt that there will be times of plenty and times of famine. In those times of plenty why don't people store up something to weather the famine? People who purchased too big of a home, too much spent on a car, too much spent and not enough stored, and now the inability to sustain that lifestyle means the economy is ruined by so many bad choices by individuals. I feel bad for the employee's of businesses who's owners have done nothing but spend every cent they brought in. If those owners had stored some they would not be having to shut down and lay off so many or close down. Isn't this what Christ taught, think of others and not your own needs?

3. Clothing: simple and modest clothing, the way we dress effects our behavior and attitudes, CASUAL DRESS=CASUAL MANNERS, avoid grasping the wrong attention through dress, The Mockers of then and now had pride in there dress. With three daughters in my care I realize that every message I send to my daughters affects them more than anything the world is telling them, and unfortunately the world is telling them horrible, salvation destroying things. I think of the lilies of the field Matt. 6:28, why should we take thought...spend energy on our outward appearance so much when the lilies of the field are arrayed in the splendor and glory which Christ gave them.

Note to self: As I think of this, and my own thoughts and desires for my body, I think of my cute hubby, who, whenever I complain of my sagging chest or my chunky tummy, tells me how beautiful I am and that those things are not important. He is more concerned with my eternal salvation and happiness then a moments satisfaction in worldly pride here on earth. He is an ANGEL sent from heaven!

4. Fuel: Before he even started talking of this 4th necessity I was already thinking in the spiritual realm as opposed to storing wood, fuel, and oil. Be as the 5 virgins who had oil, be prepared, acquire a knowledge of His plan and our place in it. I loved that last bit. Isn't it true that if we really understand His plan, if we really conceptualize who we are and what we are doing here then everything falls into place and we are able to stand firm and avoid being swayed by the doctrines of Man = Satan.

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I thought this is a meaningful video..especially what is being portrayed to our youth. I say youth because I so not believe it is just our daughter, boys seeing men or women portrayed in an incorrect light have misconstrued understanding too.

You'll want to pause the music on this blog before playing....

Sweet and Simple

I have spent the last week trying to implement the above thought...I have found that as I FOCUS more completely on getting done what the Lord wants me to do, I am able to accomplish so much more and the day is just better. So many times in the past I felt overwhelmed with everything I needed or wanted to get done. Lately I have been sporadic in my scripture study and morning prayers. I never seemed to get on top of all that needed to get done and I always felt like I needed to do MORE, MORE, MORE -- I still have yet to accomplish everything I feel I need to do -- but I have had such a turn around.

Maybe it's being free of guilt. All morning I'd tell myself to get down on my knee's and pray and the day would just keep slipping away. Or stop everything and take a moment to open up the scriptures and contemplate a chapter. Every evening as I prayed I'd feel guilty for not getting things right to fill my personal spiritual reservoir. As a family we are getting things right but I was sacrificing my spiritual needs to what I felt were the demands of the day.

It is sort of the Chicken or the Egg question...was my day better because I read my scriptures, opened my morning on my knee's, knelt with the girls before school? OR because I took care of those things first, was I able to fulfill everything else through the day without the frustration of knowing I left something important out. Is it simply obedience to His counsel or was there something physical in the things I read that helped me to better manage the day?

I am so grateful to the Lord for helping me to filter through the unimportant and FOCUS on what is important. I have always wanted to be a good mother and wife and I know that children learn by example. I don't just want my daughters to know the facts about the gospel. More important than reciting the dates and names, I want them to know and understand and live those principles.

So in honor of NieNie... even though after school we had violin to practice, spelling words to study, reading to complete, scavenger items to find, signs to make, quilt square to finish...breath....the girls and I spent the hour before heading off to dance creating notes on strips of paper telling people to read and inside writing things like "You are special." "You are beautiful." "God loves You!" We hid some of them today and tomorrow after school we will go around town and hide the rest so that someone can find a little fortune note to remind them of their worth and to enjoy the little things! (And you know, amazingly, we were able to finish everything on my above list this evening!)