Monday's Agenda

It is after noon and my two youngest and I are still in pajamas watching Charlotte's Web. (The cartoon one.) 

The house is a mess after the weekend as am I.

I have a literal tower of laundry to be done. We brought all the baskets down on Saturday morning to do. I had been gone Thursday and Friday to Clear Creek with my oldest so I had a lot to do with all our winter gear in addition to the regular laundry... but I haven't got to it yet.

Saturday morning Claire started throwing up so I played nurse and laundress to throw up accidents. Thus no time for the clothing. She was sick and throwing up all day and into the night, Each cough sending me drowsily scrambling to her "couch side". I was exhausted all day at church yesterday and believe I was pretty incoherent through out most the meetings.

I went to bed about 10:30pm last night and woke up about 2am to Stella crying and the familiar gag of throwing up. 

Her down comforter (which takes about 3 sessions in the dryer to dry without frying the down) was covered along with her pillow, sheets, quilt and her much favored pink ultra soft blanket.

We cleaned her up amid her sweetest words of "sawree" (sorry), man that brown eyed girl is so sweet! We covered the family room couch with towels - which had just been removed Sunday evening from Claire's 48-hour ordeal. We started washing the soiled laundry. After that I got about 10 minute segments of sleep. Every hour or so.

Each time I finally fell asleep I would awake moments after to Stella throwing up. She couldn't seem to get it into the bucket or bowl, so each time I would clean her up, re-towel and blanket her couch, then as she drifted back to sleep I would rinse things out and start another load as the previous was in the dryer. By the time I got everything done and got back to the couch next to Stella the whole thing would repeat. 7am came fast and the girls were up getting ready for school. 

The process has continued all day and my washer and dryer have been going since 2am and I still have yet to touch the tower of three large baskets overflowing with clothes + the clothes that are now collecting at the bottom of each closet.

I wish I could take away this sweet things pain but it is sweet seeing sisters who love and care for each other. Once the girls were up and heard Stella throwing up McCall was quick to hold her, comfort her and speak words of gentle kindness. Elizabeth was praying that Stella could not be sick and feel better quick before they left for school and Claire has been concerned with each episode with words like... "I wish she didn't have to be sick." and "I don't want her to feel so, so sick like I was, Mom."

I love how kind the girls are! They have the best little hearts!

What are you doing today?

Kill

The other day for some reason or another the kids were being really... annoying... for lack of better word. I don't even recall the specifics but Erik had had it and said "If you don't stop it right now I'm going to... I'm going to..."

Now lets back up a little. Over the past few years Momma Bear has been on Daddy Bear about idle threats. "Don't say it if you won't follow up." My husband will threaten to spank them...yet if memory is correct he has yet to ever spank a child... So don't say it.

So back to this day... we are all around waiting for Erik to finish, all eyes expectantly on him as he searches for something to say. Unable to find anything to get the kids in order he decided to make a mockery of it by using something we don't say in our house. He finishes with a smile and dramatic... "or I'll kill you!"

This is then followed with wide eyes and hunched over laughs from the peanut gallery at the table. As busy as shattering blocks in angry birds the girls start to chatter. "Dad said kill!" "Did he say kill?" "He's going to kill us! (laughing)." I heard the word which I don't like being said about 12 times among the girls and Erik as they laughed and giggled. 

Irritated, because as you may remember the girls were being very... ANNOYING... and now my husband was added to the bunch, I firmly said... "How about the next person who says KILL is going to get Tabasco in their mouth!" Knowing fully well that Mom is good on her word the girls all got quiet. Fast.

Except for Elizabeth who with big eyes, as bright as her idea, said...

"Say it Dad, Say it!!!"

Limit

I have hit my limit of storage on Blogger.

Wipe tears.

I now need to decide whether I want to purchase more storage to keep my blog going, switch blog hosts, put my blog in books (which will take some time and editing) and then delete my posts and start over. Purchasing more storage seems like the easiest road but it is just prolonging the problem I think. I try to upload smaller photo files now but I don't want to go in and manually change the size of all my past blog photo's. Can you even imagine that???

Anyhooo... bear with me while I figure this out!!!

Dinner

I made some Chow Mien the other night for dinner with soft noodles. I had been craving it for a few weeks. Erik wasn't home from work yet and we were all at the table ready to eat our steamy bowls of noodles with veggies and chicken. 

I called on McCall to say the prayer and we all bowed heads.

McCall then prayed.

She thanked and blessed and then asked...

"Help us to eat this dinner."

I had to open my eyes and look up. 

Was it really THAT bad!

 

Man, I love that girl!

Water

Okay, I have to admit this as hard as it is...


I am a water snob.


I said it.

And isn't saying it half the battle?


We have softened water. It's great for skin, hair, cleaning but land almighty, it sure has an awful taste.


What that means to our daily life?


I can only get water from the kitchen because we had the line run separate for it.


Big deal, you say. Get your water from the kitchen sink.


Consider this.

1. I have to have water on my nightstand.
2. My bedroom is not on the same level as my kitchen.

What this means is every night at bedtime, Erik or I have to go down and fill up my water bottle. If I drink it all before morning I have to stumble half asleep down the stairs to fill it up... Or wake up Erik to do it. :)

I try to force myself to drink softened water. I work it up in my mind. It will be okay Ashley. It doesn't taste that different. Just close your eyes and go to a happy place while the glass is brought to my lips.

NOPE. Not happening.

Even among the bottled waters I have issues. I hate the taste of Dansini. Oh how I hate when it's the only option (Energy Solutions). My favorite is Fuji but I'll drink many others. And sure if I was dying of thirst or a guest in a house, I'll drink it.

So you wonder. Or maybe you don't.

What is the worst water you've tasted Ashley?

Hands down. Easy answer. Bahamas. Atlantis Resort. Urrhhgg! I shiver just thinking of brushing my teeth and taking a quick swig after my rinse.

In the new home we plan on having a separate cold water line run to both kitchen sinks and in our master bathroom, then I can get water in the middle of the night from the comfort of my own room.

What are you a "snob" about?

Happy Heart Day

Valentines day is one of my favorite holidays. 

 

It's simply a happy day all wrapped up in being nice and showing love.

Who wouldn't love that?

Happy Valentines Day!

Entitlement

A family I adore and a mother and woman I totally look up to got me really thinking about what I am doing to my children.

What are you doing to your children? You say.

This.

I am worried that I am creating an expectation which could be harmful to their success in life. 

And it starts with me. There is no one else responsible but me (and my cute hubby).

It starts with this...

I seem to think that Disneyland is a right of passage for children. It is something that children need. Yearly, every other year, or every couple years. Whatever. And I was passing that on to my children.

Case in Point.

This amazing, wonderful, admired mother and family recently decided to go to Disneyland before their oldest leaves high school and heads out for the world that awaits him. They had never been to Disneyland and may not have the opportunity to go as a family again.

And? You say.

When I started thinking about this I thought about how awful I had felt that it had been 6 years since our last trip to Disneyland. (BTW - I had three children in that time.) We kept talking about going but we had a new baby, or I was pregnant, so we just pushed it off. 

So why did I feel bad. Is there a written law that kids have to go to Disneyland every year? Every other year? Ever?

I never went. We'll my family tried to go when I was younger but in true National Lampoon style when they got to Disneyland it was CLOSED. Really! When does Disneyland close, you say? We'll in the 80's when they tried to go, IT DID.

Right.

I thought about what message I am sending to my kids and I saw that I need to change the way we are raising these little ones. Life isn't all about their pleasure and enjoyment. They are going to have a hard time holding down a job, providing for family, and making the sacrifices necessary to parent their own children properly if they think life is all out them and having fun.

I want to raise children who learn that not everything they want is handed to them. They are not entitled to everything they see. Life isn't all about them. And don't kids think that? They walk in the school and think that everyone is thinking of them, that the school rotates around them and their presence in the school. Ha Ha! It's something we all experience as children to one degree or another and HOPEFULLY, but not certainly, grow out of as we mature.

Is it wrong if you got to Disneyland every year? That's not what I am saying. And I'm sure that this lovely family has done lots of fun things as a family, even better than Disneyland.

From this experience I simply saw that I need to readjust and pull back. I need to make my children more grateful for those opportunities which are given them and not make them an expectation. A right of life. I need to make them work for what they get, and learn how to work, work hard and honestly, regardless if what they reap is great or small.

I hope some day I can be as spot on as this good family I so admire and adore.

When do I blog?

I was asked how I stay 'up' on blogging? 

Here's the secret... 

I hope it doesn't disappoint...


I don't.


I usually have about 2-3 weeks scheduled out before hand.

I hope I don't disappoint if you thought I do this everyday. 


I just wouldn't have the time to write or check up on this all the time. I have too much else going on.


When the kids go down and Erik is exercising and I feel so inclined I might write 4-5 posts in less then an hour. You can probably tell by the quality of my writing. Right?

I may leave some holes in the week because something may spark my interest and I want to post it sooner and don't want to re-arrange my line up of posts.


So there you have it.

The secret is out.


Happy Blogging!

Mens Heart Shall Fail Them

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this!

I discussed this particular experience with some good friends I was with a few weeks ago.

When I say this experience I do not mean me personally. I was not the woman on the plane he referred to, whatever you may think of me. Just sayin.

THE TALK

I heard that you should talk to your kids about sex two years before you think you should.

Two years, before you think you should!

I  know it is an uncomfortable subject for many but here are some things that we learned so I thought I'd share...if it might help anyone.

A few years ago as we started considering when to have the talk with our daughter, I spoke with various friends and tried to glean what worked best for them. I knew that in school they did a maturation program comes in 5th grade so we knew we at least wanted to precede it with our own talk so that our child went to it with information and understanding. We want to be proactive not reactive in this subject especially.

It really doesn't take a book to know how to teach your kids or what to say, but Erik and I were really nervous about how or where to start.

I am a big fan of Richard and Linda Eyre. They have a book which I own How to Talk to Your Child About Sex. I want to state again, you don't have to buy a book, but I think this is a great book with lots of great ideas and can help spur thoughts on how to approach children. They give mock conversations which help you go over before hand possible things you want to address or prepare for.

Here are some things which we gathered...

AGE 8: In the book they recommend that you have the talk at age 8. While I do agree that at age 8 a child can very well handle and appreciate the talk, I do not believe that a set, firm 8 is right for every child. I do believe at 8, you should be seriously watching, listening and praying to know when the right time is. And let me say that there is nothing wrong with doing it at 8, or at 10, it depends on the child. And also you should do it sooner than what you think. The Eyre's have valid points about a younger age then what many of us would think to give the talk.

NAME: In the book they recommend telling children they will talk about the "most wonderful, amazing, beautiful awesome thing on earth". Calling it that for some people may work but for us we just said we would be having the talk about sex. My fear about using more than that is that some kids won't think it's wonderful or beautiful, and that is okay. For now. But we did appreciate the Eyre's desire to make it positive and that is the important thing we took from it. Expressing the beauty when done at the right time with your spouse. Parents have to be clear and open and positive. No embarrassment. Giggling. No strict warnings. Finger waving. Just open and honest.

WHERE: We love the one-on-one date idea. We have tried to implement that better with our kids this year as one of our goals. One-on-one time with a child and BOTH parents. But back to place...in the book they recommend taking the child out to dinner or lunch and talking. For us it is just too private a subject to inflict our child to the talk around others. A quite place where it is just us and the child, was a better option for us. Personally, I think I would be offended a little if someone at a table in a restaurant was next to us and giving "the talk". Especially if I had not had the chance as a parent to exercises my parental right to give the talk to my child yet. I'm sure the Eyre's choose an out of the way booth but we couldn't risk any uncomfortable feelings by extra eyes and ears. And we really wanted our child to feel like they could ask any questions so we thought it would be better somewhere else. Then go do something fun and allow for follow up questions during that time.

RIGHT TIME: Eyre's wrote this book based on their own personal faith and belief. Procreative powers should be used between a man and a woman once married. This is different than the world and what many others teach right now. While anyone can apply this book to their own personal views, the Eyre's where right on target with our belief on waiting until your married.

SUPPLEMENTAL BOOKS: In the book they recommended a book "Where Did I Come From?". Now I have never seen this book so I cannot personally recommend it but some reviewers said it was a bit much. (Cartoon picture of parents under the sheets?) For us, and this is just a personal recommendation, just like the Eyre's give, we didn't want a book. I printed a nice color anatomy of female and male reproductive systems and we just used that to teach. Basic facts and science. We didn't need anything more than that.

NOT A ONE TIME DEAL: We love that the Eyre's really pushed that this is an ongoing lesson. You lead up to it with honest and concise answers when children have questions before the big talk, you are honest and open during the big talk, and you follow up with additional opportunities to answer questions, and then additional developmental advice and guidance as they face various stages in life. Like for example... as they get older and closer to the age of dating they need to be prepared for dating scenarios. We have been pretty open and have addressed things all along to lead up to the talk so we really felt like it was a natural thing and our child really understood and was open with us... but that means leading up and years of being open and honest with our children before.

Some other things we personally would address:

Together. No matter the gender of the child we think it is best to have both parents if you can. Not every home has that option, but when possible, it's both parents responsibility. We wanted our child to feel comfortable to go to either parent with questions, concerns or problems. My husband was so amazing in this and his comments and the things he said to our child made me so proud to be his wife!

With knowledge comes responsibility. We voiced that receiving this information was a privilege. We stressed the importance that each parent has the right to inform their own child and talk about this, so our child should not go and inform other kids or talk about it. If they hear kids talking and something doesn't sound right or they don't know something, it was our child's responsibility to encourage them to ask a parent about it. It is not their job or their right to tell other children. It is sacred and should be spoken of with love and respect by the proper source.

Prayer. My husband and I knelt together before we left to have the talk with our child. It really was such a beautiful and wonderful experience and we felt so close as a couple and with our child. I attribute that success to the prayer we said to help us.

---------

We loved how the Eyre's book eased our fears and helped us be prepared and plan out how and when to approach this. It really turned out to be such a positive experience that I am honestly looking forward to that experience with the other children when the time is right.

Happy Monday!

In our home, I believe something like this will be the closest thing to a set of antlers we will ever see grace our walls.

Happy Monday! 

Life

I read this article recently and it spurred thoughts about this issue...

Abortion Is as American as Apple Pie

It is such a hard topic for so many but for me it stands as this...

We are forbidden to take life.

So then begins the debate of what is life.

Is the fetus just tissue and blood?

It is interesting that a doctor, who performs abortions, states:

"In the beginning [pro-lifers] were calling it a baby. We were saying it was only blood and tissue. Let's agree this is a life form, a potential life; you're terminating it. You don't have to argue that abortion stops a beating heart. It does."

But I didn't need to hear it from this doctor or from any doctor.

I heard it from Elisabeth and Mary in the New Testament over 2012 years ago (give or take a few years).

When Mary approached Elisabeth, John leaped for joy in the womb. Jesus was who He was in that tiny fetus in Mary, and John was who he was. Those individual spirits were already there. They were sacred and whole individuals, with thoughts, actions and emotions.

Does this mean we should be cruel to someone who has made this choice? Certainly not. The Savior was about nothing if not love and forgiveness, but man alive, He also taught what was right and what we need to do to be numbered among His sheep and that we should strive to live what is right and importantly to help others to know and see His light. So I will stand up for what I believe and what I believe the Savior expects of me.

I believe Satan delights in each spirit which is rejected it's chance to come to this earth, receive a body and experience joy and pain. Satan does not have a body, and without that body, the power and glory of mortal life. Satan can never experience the touch of a baby's hand, he cannot smell the beauty of a baby's head. He cannot feel the exquisiteness of pure heaven, as an infant rest upon your shoulder and nuzzles into that sweet spot at the crook of the neck. The baby's sweet breath warms the skin upon your neck and the glory felt at that moment cannot be described with mere words. Satan cannot have that without a physical body and he is just mean enough to want to take that away from others.

No, I cannot support anyone, any party, or any law, which believes they have God's power to give and take life. Some would question the death penalty, and say it is taking on God's power but I believe it is not a legitimate or equal debate, regardless of how I feel about it.

We are all accountable for our own sins and it was that way since Adam. In my opinion, abortion is taking sin out upon a baby, the death penalty takes sin out upon the individual. Two different issues entirely.

To me, it is not a moral issue, it is a matter of life.

A Lark

Often in Interior Design you capture various pictures, a portfolio of your likes, if you're meeting with a consultant you would be smart to include a few dislikes so they can really get an idea or your personality.

I have a HOME file with sub categories of pictures and ideas to help as we plan and design the new home.

Rarely does one picture capture a complete style but this room does it for me. Classic and traditional detailing with a hint of modern and whimsy.  Spirits rise just entering the door. It's light and colorful but not overwhelming. Not too much clutter. Not heavy. Not matchy. Not cutesy. If I could transport this exact room into my new house I would.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate all good design - but this style speaks to me and I would be happy as a lark waking up to it everyday.