Entitlement

A family I adore and a mother and woman I totally look up to got me really thinking about what I am doing to my children.

What are you doing to your children? You say.

This.

I am worried that I am creating an expectation which could be harmful to their success in life. 

And it starts with me. There is no one else responsible but me (and my cute hubby).

It starts with this...

I seem to think that Disneyland is a right of passage for children. It is something that children need. Yearly, every other year, or every couple years. Whatever. And I was passing that on to my children.

Case in Point.

This amazing, wonderful, admired mother and family recently decided to go to Disneyland before their oldest leaves high school and heads out for the world that awaits him. They had never been to Disneyland and may not have the opportunity to go as a family again.

And? You say.

When I started thinking about this I thought about how awful I had felt that it had been 6 years since our last trip to Disneyland. (BTW - I had three children in that time.) We kept talking about going but we had a new baby, or I was pregnant, so we just pushed it off. 

So why did I feel bad. Is there a written law that kids have to go to Disneyland every year? Every other year? Ever?

I never went. We'll my family tried to go when I was younger but in true National Lampoon style when they got to Disneyland it was CLOSED. Really! When does Disneyland close, you say? We'll in the 80's when they tried to go, IT DID.

Right.

I thought about what message I am sending to my kids and I saw that I need to change the way we are raising these little ones. Life isn't all about their pleasure and enjoyment. They are going to have a hard time holding down a job, providing for family, and making the sacrifices necessary to parent their own children properly if they think life is all out them and having fun.

I want to raise children who learn that not everything they want is handed to them. They are not entitled to everything they see. Life isn't all about them. And don't kids think that? They walk in the school and think that everyone is thinking of them, that the school rotates around them and their presence in the school. Ha Ha! It's something we all experience as children to one degree or another and HOPEFULLY, but not certainly, grow out of as we mature.

Is it wrong if you got to Disneyland every year? That's not what I am saying. And I'm sure that this lovely family has done lots of fun things as a family, even better than Disneyland.

From this experience I simply saw that I need to readjust and pull back. I need to make my children more grateful for those opportunities which are given them and not make them an expectation. A right of life. I need to make them work for what they get, and learn how to work, work hard and honestly, regardless if what they reap is great or small.

I hope some day I can be as spot on as this good family I so admire and adore.