Eight Years

Just hours old

6 weeks

8 years ago, at 1am I woke up the morning of my due date, to the concern that I had just wet my pants. I wasn't quite sure what was going on so I changed and went back to bed and then felt my abdomen tightening and more "leakage" and realized my "water" had probably just "broke". When I called the hospital the lady seemed relaxed and said I should probably come in and get it checked out. Thinking there was no urgency (hearing the horror stories about hours of waiting for that first baby to come) I showered, packed a few things to make sure I had everything in my bag, cleaned and wiped down the babies room, did some wash, replaced the tin foil on my stove, dusted, all the while having contractions where I would have to stop and hold my belly, lean over a bit while feeling fluid leak out. As they got more consistent Erik showered and we hopped in the car.

On the way to the hospital I called my office to tell them I wouldn't be in for my last day of work.

When we arrived at the hospital the nurse seemed upset that I had waited 6 hours before coming in...they should have expressed their concerns better over the phone...anyway, they got me in a room and hooked up to millions of cords and monitoring equipment and the day started. I was barely dilated and since I was working against the clock to get the baby here within the acceptable time after leaking fluid, they started me on medication to encourage my contractions. At about a 3 1/2 I asked for an epidural (go women who can do it all natural!!). The baby was having some trouble so they started me on some oxygen and started pushing fluid back into my uterus to lift the baby off the umbilical cord. I was told to lay on my side as she seemed to do better in that position. I spent the day crunching ice chips, begging for a mint or gum or just to brush my teeth to no avail.

By 4-ish I was getting sick of everything and felt like my epidural was wearing off so they had the anesthesiologist come and re administer the epidural. I was still feeling a lot of pain so I told the nurse and she said lets check you, as it had been a bit. When she did I sensed her reaction. Surprised eyes quickly running out to call the doctor with a passing "You're ready to go!" The nurses clamored to bring in all the necessary tools and equipment, started me doing some pushing before the doctor arrived, when he did we pushed for about 10 minutes and at 5:01pm out came the most beautiful little girl with fuzzy dark hair, skinny little arms and legs and long toes and fingers which equalled 10 of each! Her ears were perfect and because she dropped so quickly and came so fast her head was beautifully shaped.

Words cannot fully express everything which goes through your head in a moment like this but I remember being so amazed that we brought this life into the world and being consumed by the love I immediately felt for her. They placed her on my chest immediately after she was born and it felt amazing to have her close. I instantly wanted to protect her and give her everything possible to thrive and succeed. Erik's eye's were bloodshot and red and as I saw him cradle her with the utmost care and love, I quickly saw the loving and good father he would be.

Everyone laughed and joked -- "of coarse Ashley would have her baby one her due date" -- but it is totally McCall. She is so easy and just does what she is supposed to do when she is supposed to do it. She was such a sweet baby and that hasn't changed. She has remained beautiful and sweet. As the oldest she devoured our attention and grew in love. At six weeks she began to grin and show excitement at seeing us and she continued(s) to amaze us with her charm and intelligence.

Eight years later I look back at the time spent with this sweet spirit and wish I could slow time down or capture each moment in a bottle. It seems like it's gone so fast and I just wonder what the next eight years will hold. Will they fly by as fast? McCall is the sweetest girl. She has a huge heart for people and for her family. She is vivacious for learning and in all subjects. She wants to know how everything works. She is naturally intelligent and book smart but she is really street smart and can figure things out and spends time considering how things work. She loves to be right beside me and wants to fix things, make things, create things. She loves to try and learn new things. I could go on and on about her amazing talents, traits and skills.

As I told her this morning, the day she was born was the greatest day!

The girls and I visited Thanksgiving Point on Thursday after/evening. In honor of Elizabeth's newly found understanding of the game "I SPY" I thought I'd list a few (10) things we "spy-ed" while wandering...

1- black and yellow garden snake

2- two green frogs

3- two large snail shells - dead (they float really well down the stream, Elizabeth discovered that rocks don't)

4- (McCall) a rabbit or some small animal she's not sure

5- three huge dragon flies and three monarch butterflies

6- lots of new baby Koi

7- green acorns with brown little "hats" scattered beneath the trees

8- tiniest little pink flowers that you would only notice by getting down to look closely - they had a yellow star center so the girls aptly named them "pink star flowers"

9- crazy hip hopping grasshoppers which we lost count of

10- a green Caterpillar curled inside a pink and white snap dragon

Flash Back Friday

This was a picture from Jr. High....you can clearly see that bad bangs were very hot that year!

I was talking to McCall about school and stuff and it got me thinking about how great those years were. In elementary school everyone was cool. You just hung out with whomever....when you had a party there were so many to chose from that you just picked your closest few. There were no "popular" or "not popular" -- sure there was always someone who picked their nose or maybe didn't wash enough and carried a disturbing aroma -- but other than personal hygiene issues no one differentiated between "cool" or "uncool". One week you are playing with one friend and the next with someone else and it doesn't matter.

Then Jr. High hits and with such a huge number of students you start to see fellow classmates in categories. Unfortunately, at such a young age kids struggle to find "their" group. By high school things settle back down a bit. You find your place and get comfortable with your skin and the social circles open back up. With such a huge number of student bodies it is impossible to hang out with everyone but unlike in Jr. High you mature and realize that there are lots of "COOL" groups.It has been so much fun to keep up on some of those friendships! Not only those from school but those from church.

I have been so fortunate to keep up with some of my home ward girls -- we grew up together -- and while maybe we didn't always run in the same immediate circles -- we were always joined by our time learning to live the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is so amazing to see what wonderful women they have become and renew those friendships! I'm so glad we keep in touch.

Talking to McCall about her friends and her upcoming advancement into the Faith in God program I am so excited for the friendships she will make! I hate to see her grow up and I love my babies but she is just so much fun right now. I hope that she will be able to treasure those friendships like I do and look back on this time with happy memories.

Sweet and Simple

I have spent the last week trying to implement the above thought...I have found that as I FOCUS more completely on getting done what the Lord wants me to do, I am able to accomplish so much more and the day is just better. So many times in the past I felt overwhelmed with everything I needed or wanted to get done. Lately I have been sporadic in my scripture study and morning prayers. I never seemed to get on top of all that needed to get done and I always felt like I needed to do MORE, MORE, MORE -- I still have yet to accomplish everything I feel I need to do -- but I have had such a turn around.

Maybe it's being free of guilt. All morning I'd tell myself to get down on my knee's and pray and the day would just keep slipping away. Or stop everything and take a moment to open up the scriptures and contemplate a chapter. Every evening as I prayed I'd feel guilty for not getting things right to fill my personal spiritual reservoir. As a family we are getting things right but I was sacrificing my spiritual needs to what I felt were the demands of the day.

It is sort of the Chicken or the Egg question...was my day better because I read my scriptures, opened my morning on my knee's, knelt with the girls before school? OR because I took care of those things first, was I able to fulfill everything else through the day without the frustration of knowing I left something important out. Is it simply obedience to His counsel or was there something physical in the things I read that helped me to better manage the day?

I am so grateful to the Lord for helping me to filter through the unimportant and FOCUS on what is important. I have always wanted to be a good mother and wife and I know that children learn by example. I don't just want my daughters to know the facts about the gospel. More important than reciting the dates and names, I want them to know and understand and live those principles.

So in honor of NieNie... even though after school we had violin to practice, spelling words to study, reading to complete, scavenger items to find, signs to make, quilt square to finish...breath....the girls and I spent the hour before heading off to dance creating notes on strips of paper telling people to read and inside writing things like "You are special." "You are beautiful." "God loves You!" We hid some of them today and tomorrow after school we will go around town and hide the rest so that someone can find a little fortune note to remind them of their worth and to enjoy the little things! (And you know, amazingly, we were able to finish everything on my above list this evening!)

The results are in...and the winner is...

YELLOW AND PINK

Since I have McCall's quilt with reds and pinks, Elizabeth's with blue's and pink's, I think it will be nice to change it up and go with the yellow and the pink. I love blue everything, so it was a hard choice but like each of my girls -- I want the quilts different -- so while the pinks tie them together the yellow will change it up from the other quilts. Now I just need to start cutting out the pieces and get sewing! If you don't see me for awhile -- I'm in my cave sewing.

Disappointment & Gardner Village

So it's been forever since I've posted. Life has been crazy. Our entire family got the gumbo a week ago and everyone was throwing up and just plain miserable. Of coarse it followed just days after getting all our carpets cleaned (luckily we avoided major disaster).

Then I did a little soul searching over the past week and evaluated myself as a parent. I've been crazy driving McCall to 4 hours of dance a week, 1 hour of violin, Elizabeth 1 hour of dance, trying to keep a 1 year old entertained the whole time, doing homework and practicing dance and violin and I was just feeling really strung up. So I talked with some good therapists (my friends) and was able to step back and look at what result I wanted and what I was doing to get there.

I found that I was placing too much pressure on my kids and that I needed to step back. There is such a fine line between not expecting enough out of your kids and then on the other side of the spectrum putting too much pressure and expectations on them.

A Stake President in Alpine once said that kids should be allowed to be involved in two things. He split it up into one thing they want and one thing the parents wanted. As I have evaluated and read, and talked to other people I admire...I really saw the negative effects of over stimulating children in too many things and I also understood the effects of the other style -- not allowing children to develop skills and talents, not expecting high things out of them.

So I am really trying to back off a little on my expectations and the pressure I put on my kids. I still expect lots of great things but I am laying off just a bit.

I also am focusing on getting up early to take care of the all important scripture study and prayer and trying to implement better morning prayer with the girls before school -- which I haven't been very good at.

AFTER all this soul searching I was really looking forward to a St. George trip with some of my friends but the week had been so hard on my family being sick and all and we have the drama with Elizabeth now...swimming...memories of throwing up...she thinks if she eats dinner she will throw up now...she cries and covers her mouth up at the dinner table now...we told her she'd have to go to bed if she doesn't try and she doesn't even battle it...she just goes and gets her pajamas on and gets into bed. It is heartbreaking!!! But what can I do -- I won't force her after all the trauma she's been through.

Anyway, I was so excited for this St. George trip but mid week I realized I just couldn't leave them for the weekend. I was so disappointed but thank you Mandi for cheering me up. Mandi and I headed up to Gardner Village on Saturday and did some shopping (I am loving my new top and necklace) and we grabbed some yummy food at the restaurant, which I'm craving right now... Did a little house touring (if I had an extra $100,000 sitting around this house on her block would be mine! Someday when it's right it will happen.) I found a tv stand that I think just might work...oh, and Pumpkin fudge is in season. So all around it was a great trip! Thanks for cheering me up and making me happy & laugh Mandi!

I had book club this week too and I just LOVE the girls at book club. We just have the neatest women and we always have the best discussions. There are so many women I look up to and so it's so great to get together once a month with them.

I'm so grateful for a Father in Heaven who has a plan for each of us. For the angels he sends to comfort and counsel and help us through! I feel really blessed!!!!!!!

School Days

Elizabeth started pre-school today. She was so excited and could hardly contain herself! She had so much to say on the way home, just chattering about everything! I can't believe she is old enough to be in preschool. It is bittersweet to see her moving up and experiencing all these new and grown up things! Congratulations on your big 1st day!

Flash Back

So I missed my flash back on Friday but I'm going to post-post?!

This is me at graduation with 3 of my best friends, Colby, Jeff and Spencer. (Thanks to Creative Memories in High School for slaughtering all my photo's to annoying circles and other odd shapes.)

We had so many good times together and most of it was laughing hard and going on all kinds of crazy adventures. Thank you to my parents for allowing us to hang out, watch movies and laugh in the basement all the while filling up on the all plentiful RICE CRISPY TREATS from my dad's work.

One May afternoon, (Jr yr) we decided to leave school a little early. We drove over to Play-It-Again sports (a used sporting goods store) and we purchased a 3 man raft. Then the three guys above and my friend Shandee and I drove up Provo canyon, plopped our raft into the river and all five of us hopped in. No further then about 4 feet out on the river we capsized sending all of us into the FREEZING cold, quickly moving, runoff water of Provo river. I was caught under the raft briefly and remember thinking...well, they will find my dead body at the dam and then my parents will know I "sluffed" (Utah slang for skipping class). We tried to stop ourselves from being pulled down stream, the river knocking off our shoes in it's swift current -- Shandee and I tried to stop ourselves by grabbing branches which ended up just ripping off the skin on our palms.

Finally, the river turned and slowed and we were able to get to a rocky bank. I remember all of us laying there coughing and sputtering, calling out names to see if everyone was okay and accounted for. I can't believe I can laugh at it now -- what idiots! Once we recovered I think we went home and got shoes, most of us having lost one or both of ours -- and then went hiking the falls! (Our hiking adventures are another whole story. i.e. - Me saving Jeff from plummeting down the mountain by diving after to stop him.)

Claire's Quilt - How will you vote???

It's about time I worked on Claire's quilt. I have picked out the majority of the fabric, pinks for the sides, back, flowers; and greens for the centers and leaves. (See McCall's/Elizabeth's quilts above.) Now I need to decide which color to add, I can go with pinks&yellows OR pinks&blues OR I could probably do pink, yellow and blue if you like that. It sort of comes down to placement of colors.

Claire's Choices...

Pinks with Blues

Pinks with Yellows

I would use a variety of fabrics so I would have 2 roses per fabric (give or take). Among the pinks I'd have darker and lighter pinks, see above choices.

These are not molecular graphs...just a few combinations I could use, if one jumps out at you let me know otherwise I'm most interested in color help as I'm running out of spring/summer fabric options soon.

SO HOW WILL AMERICA VOTE?

(I think that's what they say on American Idol??? I really don't do the A.I. thing.)

On my Honor to do my Best

I'll be upfront and tell you right now I am just going to rant a bit -- but I just spent an hour and a half trying to accomplish two minor things at the scout office amid my fed up three year old, and my fussing 1 year old. It is time's like this that I really start to question the whole scouting program. Not the benefits of the program and what it means to the boys -- I think those are all good things. I just wish the church would jump in and reorganize it. Cut out all the read tape and simplify the process; cut out all the ridiculous fee's and procedures set up just to necessitate expense; reduce the cost of uniforms and badges, neckerchiefs and socks; eliminate the high fee's and charges for camps and charges simply to be a unit. Maybe this frustration and growing hostility stems partly from the fact that on Sunday I was handed the "friends of scouting" packet for the third or fourth time since being called as committee chair -- and I'm just done being that annoying person asking parents/leaders to go out and collect money, participate in flags, get this application signed again because the scout office made a mistake and we have to pay for it....

It's moments like this that I have to remind myself that I was called by the Lord to serve here and he expects me to fulfill my responsibilities the best that I can. SOOOOOO...That is why I continue to drag my girls around and wait in long lines and hope that someday they grow up knowing what sacrifice means and how much I love the Lord. I just need to remember why I'm doing this sometimes!

So seriously, I just got to this point and was going to post and McCall said their was someone at the door. I went up and this little boy was standing there and I thought -- I guess it's that time of year, schools started and time for fundraising. Then the little boy said he was lost and didn't know where he was and could he call his mom? I gave him the phone and he called and just started crying. I felt so bad and I asked if he wanted me to talk to his mom. I told her where he was and she seemed hesitant and asked if I could point him in the right direction and send him home (she couldn't get him right now for some reason.) He was pretty scared and still had two miles of difficult roads to maneuver on the googled map. (I won't tell you what my opinion is of the mother who didn't drop everything and come pick him up but I don't know what was going at their house.) I loaded my girls in, his bike and had him climb in and drove him home up by Eaglecrest Elementary to make sure he made it home safely - I was worried he'd get lost again. He was only 11 years old. I guess the map reading and navigation is important and whatever means necessary, scouting and all, to help youth acquire important skills is important. Maybe my calling isn't so hopeless!

Another Tender Mercy. Thank you!

Flash Back Friday

So I have viewed a couple blogs where they show fun flash backs from the past on Friday. I thought it was a fun idea to show those photo's, so I'm join in on the fun. This is a picture of my cute hubby at about 4-5 yrs old. Erik developed Perthes 'disease' as a child, thus the leg brace. (See Perthes description below)

Sunday Dinner

At a family dinner one Sunday, at Erik's Grandparent's house, about the time of this picture, Pres. Kimball and Camilla showed up for dinner. (Erik's Grandmother and Camilla being sisters.) When Pres. Kimball walked in and saw Erik, he immediately grabbed him in his arms and set him in his lap. Pres. Kimball had a great love for children and especially those with limitations, his own son Edward suffered from Polio. Pres. Kimball talked with Erik and held him for awhile and then, placing his hands on each side of Erik's cheeks, he asked Erik to do something for him, he asked Erik to pray for him. At the time Erik's mom was a little taken back, she felt like Pres. Kimball should be praying for Erik, but as she looked back she understood the wisdom in Pres. Kimball's request. Pres. Kimball had great love and faith in children and he knew that he would be supported in his heavy duties and responsibilities by the prayers of young children like Erik. Secondly, and most importantly for Erik, Pres. Kimball taught him by that simple request to loose himself. Rather than feeling sorry because of his limitation for that brief period of time, Pres. Kimball taught Erik to think and feel for other's and their needs.

This lesson, the significance probably unrealized at the time, has greatly influenced Erik's character. Erik is so good about jumping in and helping out inside and outside of the home. He is such a hard worker, he is so completely honest in all his dealings, he truly wants to help people for the right reasons not for recognition. He does everything he can not to be noticed for his efforts. He is so right on when it comes to living the gospel. Erik really is a powerful influence for good in our home and I just think that Pres. Kimball could see all that when he looked in Erik's eye's.

Perthes is a condition in children characterized by a temporary loss of blood supply to the hip. Without an adequate blood supply, the rounded head of the femur (the " ball " of the " ball and socket " joint of the hip) dies. The area becomes intensely inflamed and irritated.

Perthes disease usually is seen in children between 4 years and 10 years of age. It is five times more common in boys than in girls.
Although the term 'disease' is still used, Perthes is really a complex process of stages. Treatment of Perthes may require periods of immobilization or limitations on usual activities. The long-term prognosis is good in most cases. After 18 months to 2 years of treatment, most children return to normal activities without major limitations.

Back to School

McCall headed out the door on Monday to walk to school with Erik and I thought... "I forgot to take her picture!!" (The story of my life lately.) So this picture is after school, after her stylin' hair cut by the most talented and beautiful AMY.

To me she looks so much older, I don't know if it's the hair or that she's about to turn 8! What do you think? McCall also wanted a messenger bag and not a backpack this year "...'cause the 6th graders have these, Mom." When we were school shopping she saw this top (www.nordstrom.com) and HAD to have it. The shirt has ruffles on the bottom back of it. She knew right off that's what she wanted to wear the first day. She also has this Henley that she adores and calls it her lucky shirt (cause it's green). I hope I haven't created a monster!!

I really should know how to focus!

Silly Elizabeth is always trying to crack us up!

I asked McCall what she wanted for dinner and she of coarse said Swedish Pancakes. So I thought I'd share my very favorite recipe for them out of the many different ones I've used. I love this one because on top of tasting great I don't have to butter the pan like some recipes. We put fresh fruit, powdered sugar, cinnamon sugar, whipped cream, syrup, etc. in them but our favorite combo is fresh Strawberries and bananas with cinnamon sugar and a bit of whipped cream.

Swedish Pancakes (Crepes)

4 eggs

1 c. flour

1 T. sugar

1 t. salt

1 c. milk

a little bloop of vegetable oil

Whisk eggs, flour, sugar, and salt together into a smooth paste. Slowly whisk in milk until just combined, then add a bit of oil (just to keep them from sticking) and stir again. Ladle or pour the batter onto the griddle over medium heat, and tip pan to swirl batter into a thin circle. Flip when edges look dry. Place whatever fruit or combo you like down the center, roll up (we fold burrito style) and enjoy!

Strawberry Shortcake

I purchase a large thing of strawberries from Costco for Swedish pancakes and so I needed to come up with something other than freezer jam to use them up, I've made pie so much and so I wanted something different so last night I whipped up Strawberry Shortcake and this is now my favorite recipe for strawberry shortcake. I don't understand why people us that spongy stuff from the store or store biscuits when these are so easy and so much better. I love the egg and sugar top. It makes a crunchy caramelized top to the shortcakes which I love. If I had some of that larger crystal (natural) sugar I might use that next time but the granulated work just fine!

Shortcakes

2 c. all-purpose flour

1 T. baking powder

1/2 t. salt

3 T. sugar

8 T. butter, chilled and cut into 1/2 inch pieces

1 lg. egg, beaten

1/2 c. milk (I use slightly more)

1 lg. egg white, lightly beaten

2 T. sugar

Heat over to 425 degrees. Mix flour, baking powder, salt, sugar in bowl (I use food processor but can use bowl and pastry cutter). Scatter butter pieces over mixture and pulse five times. Continue until flour is pale yellow and resembles coarse cornmeal. Turn mixture into medium bowl.

Mix beaten egg with milk; pour into flour mixture. Combine with rubber spatula until large clumps form. Turn mixture out into floured surface and lightly knead until it comes together. Roll out to 3/4 inch thick (about 9-6 inch square) being careful not to overwork dough. Flour a biscuit cutter (any like shaped cutter would work - I've even used a glass in years past.

Place on cookie sheet and brush with egg whites and sprinkle with sugar.

Bake until golden brown about 12-14 minutes. Cool 10 minutes.

Split along natural crack on the side and place bottom on serving plate. Spoon portion of fruit over bottom piece and dollop of whipped cream. Cap with top piece (I repeated the fruit on the top).

*****For the strawberries I crush/mash up about a cups worth of strawberries and maybe 1/2 c. sugar and then add another cup of large sliced strawberries.

St George

So we are back from St George and had a fabulous time thanks to the perks of Erik's job. The St George house has all the amenities anyone could want and more...plasma TVs, sweet surround...we could sit inside all day and enjoy the comforts but no -- the pool is outside and amazing -- lots of fun for the girls. We spent most of the day at the pool doing whatever the girls wanted, walking to the cool park just down the road, eating out, BBQ-ing, going for ice cream, some shopping...doing typical things you do on a vacation. We made our trip to the St George Temple and visitors center. They have a sweet little movie about a pioneer girl and her brother which my girls really enjoyed. We all enjoyed looking at the woodworking tools displayed at the visitors center used by their ancestor Thomas Cottam.

The only problem is I am getting horrible at bringing my camera. I took it to the pool one day but every time we got anywhere I'd be quoted saying "Shoot, I was going to bring the camera."

Twilight Series

So I am one of those weird people...no I mean to continue...who like something until it starts to catch on and then when lots of other people get into it, like it, know about it, etc. ...well, I start to move on to something else. I guess it comes from my brother's advice when I was in 7th or 8th grade and we were school shopping. I told my mom I'd rather wait until I started school and then see what other kids were wearing and then shop. My brother (I won't mention any names Brendan), jumped right in and told me I should set my own style and find things I liked, and others would follow. I really appreciated his advice and I tried to follow it. Maybe I've just taken it a little too far and become a bit freakish with it.

So...back from memory lane and back to the theme of my blog...Twilight. So I got into it early on...before people knew right away who Bella and Edward were. (Thanks Paula). Anyway, I enjoyed the book with the exception of a few things which I now want to get off my chest! I mean no disrespect to Stephenie's books -- I do enjoy them -- although I've never gotten all freakish about them. And I will add that this might be some of the above mentioned disorder filtering through...

Can this girl have her blood pressure checked?

I mean come on, I know it was written for teens, but you can only handle so much swooning and fainting. Falling into Edwards arms this, catch her when she trips that... Arggg. Hopefully she turns out bloodless in book four and can toughen up a bit. :)

IS ANYONE EDITING THESE BOOKS!!!????

The first book was plagued with editing errors and in fairness, I can give it up to the fact it was the first publication, from a smaller publisher, with limited budget and financing. Okay, but then we come to number 2, maybe the budget still wasn't great but come on by number three couldn't they have cleaned it up a bit. I can't imagine what I will find in the fourth and final book (I'm glad it ends here -- not that I don't enjoy the books but she's begun to drag it out a bit, I think in attempts to get more money...sell out -- oh did I say that out loud?) Anyhoooo....I'm not saying that I am an expert on grammar -- I make a heck of a lot of mistakes -- especially when my mind is racing to get my thoughts to the screen -- but this book is going out to millions of people, the publisher is pulling in millions so why not spend some of that on editing?

I hope I don't sound like a book snob, I don't mean to -- even if I may be a bit of one secretly -- but I just wanted to get this off my chest. Now that I've typed this and the floors are mopped I can go upstairs and read Breaking Dawn while dinner cooks!!!!