March Madness Best Quotes

So I thought I would compile a collection of best quotes from our family bracket tournament over the years...

"MARK" MADNESS BABY

CHERYL:

Oh Man! You mean we were supposed to fill out the brackets with the teams we thought would win?? I thought it was the teams we thought would lose! I'm never listening to Brendan (husband) again!

BROCK:

On Tuesday evening, Julie was talking with the kids while they were filling out their brackets and Benjamin provided the following "glimpse" into the world of a boy-genius:

"I never don't do Duke."

I suggest surrender is our only option. After three days, I still have NO IDEA what he's talking about. Forget the dizzying use of double-negative, "infinity-no-touch-backs" grammar. Clearly, this kid is operating on an intellectual level that makes Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates look like the stars of Two and a Half Men. 

ASHLEY:

@ Stoner TN (Brock and family): So at your bracket fill out "conference" the other evening, with all the kids around the table, wide eyed and listening intently...does Julie have a PowerPoint presentation with links to a madness matrix, team reviews and the alignment of stars and gravitational pull of the moon explained? Does the meeting begin with prayer... maybe that's where we went wrong!

DARIN:

You are going the right direction Ashley but let's dig a little deeper in to this bracket family "conference" and read between the lines. This was FAMILY HOME EVENING without a doubt, certainly led with and ended with prayer. And I'm confident that "someone" spent a ton of time at the expense of sleep before FHE with Powerpoint, Excel spreadsheets, regression analysis, team reviews, strategy and probably a family cheer (but I don't think it was Julie). That same "someone" orchestrated a vicious attack on his eldest brother last night using his children as pawns.. shameless!

BROCK:

I just need to make one thing PERFECTLY clear. No children have been used as pawns to attack an eldest brother. Maybe bishops, knights, and rooks, but never pawns.

ASHLEY:

Hey Stoner-TN's: All I can say about your vicious attack is... don't bite the hand that feeds you!

ERIK:

@ Ashley: So this coming from the one that started off the tournament with trash talking. By the way Ashley where are you in the standings? And what was that about serving the one that wins? I can't wait to get my feet rubbed.

GRADY:

It's not a PowerPoint, it's just a simple lesson in mathematics. Is a 1 seed lower than a 4 seed? Pick the 1 Seed. Is the 1 Seed lower than a 2 Seed? Pick the 1 Seed. Is a 1 Seed Lower than a 1 Seed? Don't not pick Duke.

JESSICA:

We're going to run out of butter and jam with all these toasted brackets!!

BROCK:
It seems that I miscalculated and gave away all of our butter and jam last round, so I was wondering if anyone could send some this direction. Julie and Matthew were wondering...

Your "always-ready-to-take-out-the-trash" brother, son, uncle, father, and husband (last I checked),
--Brock 

GRADY:

Unfortunately, I think my stay at #2 is going to be short lived. Just want everyone to know that at one point during this blasted competition I was there.

BROCK:

WAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!! And my diabolical plan would have worked if it weren't for those meddling Wildcats! But, like every effective despot, I won't allow rebel uprisings in the eastern region of my bracket unseat me from power, POWER, POWERRRRRR! As I scan from the pinnacle of my vast dominion, I perceive a new threat rising in the southwest bracket...undermining our tradition of Brock-dominated bracket leadership...threatening to undermine all that we have worked for, all that we have prayed for, fasted for, held emergency family councils for. In short, threatening all that we hold most dear for THESE THREE WEEKS IN MARCH/APRIL? I call out to my loyal minion(s) across this vast assembly: Where is the shelter from the depravity, gluttony, and excess of the capitalist pig (Kansas)? Who will shield you from the drug-induced, backsliding, faithless ways of the imperialist (Kansas)? Who will protect you from the greed and debauchery of the south-WESTERN infidel (Kansas)? Who I say? go VCU... [Seriously people? That's the best we got....Virginia Commonwealth? Come on folks, work with me here!...] 

ASHLEY:

Hey, if you sort it alphabetically I'm at the top! By the way, did we really clarify what consists of 1st place? It is kind of up for interpretation by the ambiguous nature of not specifically listing what 1st/2nd/3rd meant. I mean, you can't just assume something like this. REALLY. I think I was first to go out with all my teams dead! That should be worth something. And what about Brock, I mean he is now my 4th favorite brother, so that really puts him out of the rankings doesn't it!!! :) I really think we should evaluate this closer.

BRENDAN:

Due to Dad's weary index finger after entering 6 names into to "To field," and my desire to help the less fortunate, I am forwarding his smack to the entire list of participants. Dad's email is below highlighted in blue.    Mmmmm steak!  

Dear Family,

I am sending this to the 6 of you but it is for each member of your families.

          Oh the crying that goes on with a small fortune at stake.

          Oh the gnashing of teeth that brings me to my feet.

          You have only yourself to blame for the approaching ache.

          For in the end - your meal is bread and water - and mine sizzling steak !!!

Love and bad luck to all, Dad

BROCK:

As the drums of war beat once more, let us remember….. "before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."